Lightning Strikes & Sadistic Wallpaper
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Discover the Yule Lads in Chapter One Below!
In Icelandic folklore, thirteen troll brothers known as ‘Yule Lads’ visit for the thirteen nights leading up to Christmas Eve. Children leave their shoes on the windowsills, and the designated Yule Lad for that evening places a gift inside for good behavior. If the child is naughty, he or she gets a rotten potato instead.
If you’ve ever smelled a rotten potato in your pantry, you know the Yule Lads aren’t messing around. At least they don’t eat your flesh like the worst version of Krampus, Santa’s hairy, fanged buddy. Krampus has issues.
Luckily for Icelandic children, the Yule Lads are just weird. Really weird.
There’s Sheep-Cote Clod (Stekkjastaur), who harasses sheep, and Gully Gawk (Giljagaur), who hides in gullies to bother livestock.
Then there’s the kitchen contingent—Stubby (Stúfur), who steals food from pots, Spoon-Licker (Þvörusleikir), who licks unwashed spoons, Skyr-Gobbler (Skyrgámur), who eats all the yogurt, Pot-Scraper (Pottaskefill), who scrapes pots for leftovers, and Bowl-Licker (Askasleikir), who—you guessed it—licks bowls.
Believe it or not, the last six brothers are even stranger. There’s the Door twins (Hurðaskellir)—one who slams doors to wake people like an angry poltergeist, and his brother, who sniffs at entryways, looking for food. Then there is Candle-Beggar (Kertasníkir), who steals candles, Sausage-Swiper (Bjúgnakrækir), who is pretty self-explanatory if not rife with phallic innuendo, and Meat Hook (Kjötkrókur), who sounds terrifying, but who only uses his hook to steal smoked lamb from the rafters.
This delightful group is rounded out by Peeper (Gluggagægir), who peeps into your house, looking for things to steal. He sounds a little creepy, but after hearing about the rest of his dysfunctional family, he doesn’t come as a surprise.
Their mother, Grýla, must be so proud.
Actually, the Yule Lads’ mother probably is proud, because she’s a troll, too, and this sort of behavior is cool by troll standards—especially a couple of pranksters like Grýla and her lazy husband Leppalúði.
It’s safe to say most of the residents of Pineapple Port have never heard about the Yule Lads.
But they will.
SIGNS YOU LIVE IN FLORIDA
We saw a pretty big lightning strike outside and started filming in time to get the next one. You can barely see this happen in the video, but the screengrab is pretty amazing. Did one of the little forks hit my fence? It sure sounded like it!
Things I May Never Do Again...
So you know that thing where you think, sure, I can wallpaper one little wall...how hard could it be?
We were struck temporarily insane and decided to go for it. Yikes. This is peel-and-stick wallpaper from Amazon, and it does look pretty good---gave a very white bathroom a little punch, but it was NOT easy. I can't even imagine attempting it with old-timey glue & paper!
It would have been a lot easier if I knew these tricks ahead of time:
1. Overlap is relative.
They say to make it easier, do a little overlap from one sheet to the next, but what they don't tell you is if your design is as large and all-encompassing as this one, you have to overlap practically the whole sheet for it to line up, which would double the amount of wallpaper you need. Given the choice again, I might have picked something a little more sparse and forgiving.
2. Length is dependent on pattern...
When you cut your second sheet, remember it must align with the last one at the right point in the pattern. I cut the right length off the roll with a little extra just in case, toddled back to the bathroom, and realized the part I needed to line up at the top of the next column was about two feet down the piece I'd cut... Grr. So, I put that piece aside, figuring I'd use it for the last column so the patchwork I'd have to fill in for that shorty piece landed behind the toilet...
3. Is the pattern the same upside down?
Of course, it isn't, because a twisted sadist designed this particular pattern. Turns out that even if it doesn't look like it, there is a right side up and upside down (that sicko made sure of it), so when you match the pattern and cut your third piece, you'll realize the pattern is slightly different upside down and still doesn't line up right without coming up short. ) *^!(^)@^^!!&#*#^%$_!!!!
4. Don't look behind the toilet.
Things might be a little janky there!
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