After hearing the story about the man whose Alexa sent his friend a recording of him and his wife talking about flooring, Mike decided to go online and check our account. Sure enough, there were a million recording of me saying rude things to Alexa, because it amuses me. For instance, we have her setup to turn the lights on and off with a command, so every night I walk into the bedroom and say  "Alexa -- Turn on the lights" and bing the lights come on. And then, because she's been so sweet, I say some variation of, "Thanks, ya pox-faced trollop!"  All of which are recorded for posterity. Fantastic. Luckily, I'm an author and not a political hopeful.

These robot women also have me making a complete idiot of myself, like this exchange I had with Alexa the other day:

Me: Hey Alexa
Nothing
I realize I'm talking to Google Assistant.
I try again.
Me: "Hey Google, set a tumor." I burst into giggles. "I mean set a timer for 12 minutes."
Google: "Okay. I'll set a timer for three minutes."
Me: "You could, but that would be wrong."
Nothing. 
Whoops, forgot to get her attention.
Me: Hey Google. Set a timer for 12 minutes.
Google: Sure, setting a second timer for 12 minutes.
Me: (hysterically laughing now because my husband is staring at me like my brain just fell out my ear.) No-- I mean, Hey Google, cancel the first timer"
Google: You have two timers. Which would you like to cancel?
Me: The three minute one.
Google: Okay, canceling first timer for three minutes.
Me: (turning to husband, still sniffing from laughing). There! Finally that's done.
Mike: Until twelve minutes from now when she gives you a tumor.

So now they have all that recorded too, with me giggling through the whole thing.